alwaysbeenaboutheroes:

birdoftheapocalypse:

Just then, Damian could hear Colin getting closer. Damn it! How did Colin know to come over here?! Damian kept himself into a tight fetal position, trying as hard as he could to just disappear and prevent himself from completely breaking down. But that was proving to be harder than he liked. A few more moments went by before he heard Colin close by, but seemingly running away from him. Good. Maybe he actually did lose track of him. Still didn’t seem to make anything easier though. But suddenly, he was disrupted and tackled. It threw him off balance and he nearly fell over, but he regained himself before it could happen. Damian slowly looked down at Colin who was crying into his jacket and holding onto him as if his life depended on it. Damian wanted to say something, but the words got caught in his throat. “I…” he started and looked away from Colin now. “It’s not up to me…” he managed to mutter, as painful as it was.

He knew it wasn’t, but that still didn’t manage to stop him from crying and begging for Damian to stay. There had to be a way, there had to be something, anything to make Damian able to stay in Gotham, to stay with him.

“I don’t- I don’t want them to take you away!” He choked out between sobs, his arms tightening around the other boy and his hands clutching desperately at the back of his jacket. “Isn’t there- somehow- I-I just don’t want to lose you!”

Colin didn’t think he asked for much in his life. He was okay with living at the orphanage. He was alright with never having known his parents. He didn’t mind having venom fused to his blood or the pain that came with it whenever he transformed back and forth nowadays. Doing poorly in school, being bullied and beaten, not getting enough to eat, freezing at night, sleeping badly because of nightmares and the fear of Scarecrow returning was okay too. He really didn’t mind.

But if there was one thing he’d ask for, it was to be able to stay with his best friend.

He’d do anything for that.

Anything.

“Stop. Just stop…” Damian muttered. He couldn’t stand hearing Colin this upset. He couldn’t stand seeing him cry and practically begging him for something that he just couldn’t give. It wasn’t up to him. They could just run away, but that wouldn’t solve anything. If Damian doesn’t go with his mother, she will still try to have him killed. And without the protection of his father or the others… there was no way he was going to allow Colin to get involved with that. Imagine, two kids trying to hide from Leviathan, and Batman at the same time.

All Damian could do was scowl in sadness to try and hide just how much he wanted to just let go and cry. Looking down at Colin whose eyes were bloodshot from the tears, and whose nose was running… it wasn’t a great sight, and yet Damian wanted all of it. Colin was probably the best thing to happen to him, other than becoming Robin. No… he was the best thing, even more so than becoming Robin. Just as long as he had Colin there… he would be happy. But the question was… why did Colin like him so much?! Damian has yelled at Colin, threatened him on numerous occasions, lied to him, and just in general… treated him like shit. And yet Colin remained…. why?! Colin deserved so much better! So why did he want Damian to stay so badly? 

Colin could easily make other friends… friends who would care about him, and treat him the way he deserves to be treated. All those tears he was crying… Damian didn’t feel he was worth it. “There just isn’t a way…” Damian said quietly and pulled away from Colin. This had to end. Colin would be fine without him. He knows he would. That wasn’t even up for debate. But Damian himself…? He wasn’t so sure. To have something that truly made him happy, and to have someone where he could actually be free around, just ripped away from him… he wasn’t sure he could recover from that. “I stay with my father, my mother will just keep coming after me and the others. I can’t let them get hurt because I was being selfish and wanted to stay. I go with my mother… and I will never see my father, Grayson, or you again…” Damian took a deep breath and exhaled shakily. “I might as well be dead in both situations. I don’t- I couldn’t-” Damian couldn’t even finish his sentence as the tears finally welled up in his eyes and slide down his cheeks.

alwaysbeenaboutheroes:

birdoftheapocalypse:

Damian heard Colin on the rooftop across from him. The kid was in no way stealthy. And all the sobbing and crying certainly didn’t help any. Damian furrowed his brows and tightened his expression, biting down on his lower lip, hard, doing anything he could to prevent himself from making a sound or god forbid… showing an emotion other than anger and indifference. He was doing it, he was succeeding. He won’t break like this, nope. Right as he was gaining some confidence in that fact… Colin spoke up. It sent chills down his spine, made his heart stop beating, and all his body heat just left him. He felt dead. Colin sounded so hurt… and upset. And Damian was the one that did it to him. Why couldn’t Colin just leave things alone?! His expression was faltering as his brows and lips quivered, threatening to break down into a sob. So he pulled his knees to his chest even more and buried his face in his knees, and lacing his fingers behind the back of his head, just trying to shrink away. “Just go…” he whispered, unaware that he had said it out load.

Maybe it was luck that made the wind carry Damian’s words over to Colin, but whatever the case may be, the moment he caught them the ginger’s head snapped up and he instantly looked in the direction they had come from. The other building. Damian was still here. Still near. Still close.

Which meant Colin could catch him.

He dashed across the building’s roof and upon coming closer to the edge, he realized that the two buildings were farther part than he had expected, but that was fine, he could do it. He didn’t have the time to change into Abuse right now.

He jumped and narrowly caught onto the edge of the other building’s roof and with great effort, heaved himself up. Colin took only a short moment to breathe and then he was running again, across the roof and past the air conditioner. But something in the corner of his eye caught his attention and he turned and then he spotted Damian. He stopped, along with his heart.

And then he lunged forward, arms wrapping around the other boy as he sunk down to his knees, crying into Damian’s jacket. “Please don’t leave me, please please please I- Dami, I-”

Just then, Damian could hear Colin getting closer. Damn it! How did Colin know to come over here?! Damian kept himself into a tight fetal position, trying as hard as he could to just disappear and prevent himself from completely breaking down. But that was proving to be harder than he liked. A few more moments went by before he heard Colin close by, but seemingly running away from him. Good. Maybe he actually did lose track of him. Still didn’t seem to make anything easier though. But suddenly, he was disrupted and tackled. It threw him off balance and he nearly fell over, but he regained himself before it could happen. Damian slowly looked down at Colin who was crying into his jacket and holding onto him as if his life depended on it. Damian wanted to say something, but the words got caught in his throat. “I…” he started and looked away from Colin now. “It’s not up to me…” he managed to mutter, as painful as it was.

alwaysbeenaboutheroes:

birdoftheapocalypse:

Colin just needed to leave, keep on running past him so he could catch a break. It was embarrassing. How he almost let himself go right in front of Colin! He was supposed to be strong! Feelings like that weren’t supposed to get to him, and when they did… he hated himself for it. But it was his own fault, he knew the consequences of befriending someone like Colin and getting attached. But it didn’t matter, because he wanted it. Something for himself… something that neither his father or mother have control over. But apparently he was wrong about that too. He’s getting taken away from Colin… and everything he ever wanted to be! No more dreams or being Robin, and no more Colin… his life would be nothing but a servant to his mother… doing everything she wants to do and wants him to do, but never anything for himself.

Colin made it to the alleyway, and Damian crouched down a bit more. Go away… go away! he thought. Shit! Colin started climbing the fire escape. Damian stood up and booked it for the other side of the building and jumping across to the next building, hiding behind the air conditioning structure. Making sure to stay out of sight, he sat himself down, and leaned his back against the air conditioner, hoping that Colin would finally lose him.

His breath came out in choked gasps and sobs and with both his hands occupied as he climbed the fire escape, he had no way to even try to get rid of the salty tears. He didn’t notice much though. All his attention was on finding Damian and he’d do it even if it was the last thing he ever did.

The second he reached the roof, he looked around, quickly and desperately for any sight of that dark hair and those eyes he’d come to know so well, but… But there was nothing there. His heart sank and shattered into a thousand pieces and he took a raspy breath in a futile attempt to calm down. This wasn’t it, Damian had to be around somewhere, he had to be, he couldn’t leave-

The tears grew in number and strength and a choked, desperate sob was ripped from his throat. “D-Dami, please, where- y-you can’t- I don’t want you to leave!”

Damian heard Colin on the rooftop across from him. The kid was in no way stealthy. And all the sobbing and crying certainly didn’t help any. Damian furrowed his brows and tightened his expression, biting down on his lower lip, hard, doing anything he could to prevent himself from making a sound or god forbid… showing an emotion other than anger and indifference. He was doing it, he was succeeding. He won’t break like this, nope. Right as he was gaining some confidence in that fact… Colin spoke up. It sent chills down his spine, made his heart stop beating, and all his body heat just left him. He felt dead. Colin sounded so hurt… and upset. And Damian was the one that did it to him. Why couldn’t Colin just leave things alone?! His expression was faltering as his brows and lips quivered, threatening to break down into a sob. So he pulled his knees to his chest even more and buried his face in his knees, and lacing his fingers behind the back of his head, just trying to shrink away. “Just go…” he whispered, unaware that he had said it out load.

alwaysbeenaboutheroes:

birdoftheapocalypse:

Where was he running to? He didn’t really know. He couldn’t just head back to the mansion, Colin would find him there, and Pennyworth of course would let him in. He just needed to get away from that situation. He allowed himself to feel too much! He wanted too… even knowing all along that it did nothing but bring unnecessary pain. He put years of his training to the side, just so he could be around Colin. Just being with him made it worth it, so much so that he didn’t even care to think about the repercussions. He was… happy. Which is a hard thing to say in his life. But to suddenly be betrayed by his own father, and handed back like he was some borrowed book, and he had no choice in the matter? It was wrong! It was like everybody else had a say and was in control of what happens in his life. Colin? The one thing you actually wanted and chose for yourself? Who cares! You have to go back to you mother. It’s not an option. Damian found himself in an alleyway and he quickly climbed the fire escape, trying to lose Colin, who was without a doubt following him. He peered over the edge of the building.

It was hard to see through the tears blurring his vision and despite how hard he tried to wipe them away, it was no use. They just kept coming, no matter what he did, no matter how much he tried to convince himself that this was just some horrible, horrible dream. He couldn’t lose Damian. He couldn’t. Dami was his best friend and one of the few really good things in his life and he couldn’t lose him. They’d been through so much together and he couldn’t, refused to give it all up, give Damian up, just because his dad had ordered him to go back to his mom, to leave Gotham!

For all either of them knew, Damian might just get killed anyway.

That thought ripped a choked sob from Colin’s throat and he reached a hand up to desperately wipe at the tears pouring down his face as he kept on following the other boy’s path. He just barely caught the sight of the fabric of Damian’s jacket disappearing down an alleyway and he used everything he had to pick up speed. But the moment he turned around the corner, there was no one there. His gaze darted around wildly, desperately, for any sight of his best friend, for a clue as to where he might have gone. It was a dead end and the only way out was-

He looked up and spotted the fire escape and without even a moment of hesitation, he quickly started climbing it. He wasn’t going to lose Damian.

Colin just needed to leave, keep on running past him so he could catch a break. It was embarrassing. How he almost let himself go right in front of Colin! He was supposed to be strong! Feelings like that weren’t supposed to get to him, and when they did… he hated himself for it. But it was his own fault, he knew the consequences of befriending someone like Colin and getting attached. But it didn’t matter, because he wanted it. Something for himself… something that neither his father or mother have control over. But apparently he was wrong about that too. He’s getting taken away from Colin… and everything he ever wanted to be! No more dreams or being Robin, and no more Colin… his life would be nothing but a servant to his mother… doing everything she wants to do and wants him to do, but never anything for himself.

Colin made it to the alleyway, and Damian crouched down a bit more. Go away… go away! he thought. Shit! Colin started climbing the fire escape. Damian stood up and booked it for the other side of the building and jumping across to the next building, hiding behind the air conditioning structure. Making sure to stay out of sight, he sat himself down, and leaned his back against the air conditioner, hoping that Colin would finally lose him.

alwaysbeenaboutheroes:

birdoftheapocalypse:

Damian stopped walking and glanced back at Colin with slight surprise at his refusal to keep going, but also with slight annoyance. Was this really going to happen now? Not the way Damian wanted it, not at all! A slight scowl formed on his face as his feelings started to well up. “I’m leaving!” He exclaimed. “Leaving Gotham, and probably never coming back. You wanted to know why I’m not Robin anymore? It’s because my mother came back with a force to try and have me killed, and the only way that she would stop is if I re-join her. Even my father couldn’t see another way out of this, and he just decided it would be best to go with her. He handed me off like I mean’t nothing to him!” he shouted, almost shaking with anger and sadness both. “And this…” his voice cracked . “Is my last night here… with you…” he almost sobbed but he caught himself before turning and running off.

Colin flinched, as if physically struck, at what Damian was telling him and suddenly he found it really heard to breathe. Damian was leaving? Leaving Gotham? Leaving his family? Leaving…leaving him?

Forever?

No, no, no, it couldn’t be true, it couldn’t! This was all just some messed up nightmare and any second now Sister Agnes would wake him him up and scold him for being late for school again, but one look at Damian and he knew it was real. It felt like everything just crumbled around him, like someone cut out his heart with a rusty spoon and tears gathered in his eyes, spilled over and trickled down his cheeks.

“D-Dami!” He cried out, voice breaking, and he stumbled slightly, before catching himself and quickly running after the other boy. “Dami, wait! Please! You can’t just- Dami!”

Where was he running to? He didn’t really know. He couldn’t just head back to the mansion, Colin would find him there, and Pennyworth of course would let him in. He just needed to get away from that situation. He allowed himself to feel too much! He wanted too… even knowing all along that it did nothing but bring unnecessary pain. He put years of his training to the side, just so he could be around Colin. Just being with him made it worth it, so much so that he didn’t even care to think about the repercussions. He was… happy. Which is a hard thing to say in his life. But to suddenly be betrayed by his own father, and handed back like he was some borrowed book, and he had no choice in the matter? It was wrong! It was like everybody else had a say and was in control of what happens in his life. Colin? The one thing you actually wanted and chose for yourself? Who cares! You have to go back to you mother. It’s not an option. Damian found himself in an alleyway and he quickly climbed the fire escape, trying to lose Colin, who was without a doubt following him. He peered over the edge of the building.

alwaysbeenaboutheroes:

birdoftheapocalypse:

alwaysbeenaboutheroes:

Damian was right. It took a few minutes, in which Colin gathered his thoughts and silently observed the other, but then he frowned once more and started slowing down until they both came to a stop. “Dami, what’s going on? You’re acting…weird. Is something wrong?”

Damian rolled his eyes when Colin did indeed ask him whats wrong. Feeling himself coming to a stop, he glanced back at Colin and just stared at him for a bit. “I told you I was fine…” he grumbled and let go of Colin’s hand again. “Lets just go already.” he then turned back around and started on without Colin, thinking he would follow after him like usual. Just get to the mansion… have a good night, and then he will tell him. That was his plan… though it was quickly falling apart.

His expression fell further when Damian let go, his hand feeling surprisingly cold without the other holding on to it and he stared after Damian. The concern only grew and hurt mixed in with the worry. Why wouldn’t Damian tell him? It was obvious something was bothering him and every time he denied it, Colin only felt even more concerned. Damian knew he could talk to him about anything, right? They were…friends, weren’t they…?

“…I don’t want to go anywhere until you tell me what’s wrong, Dami,” the redhead finally said, not having moved an inch from where Damian had left him.

Damian stopped walking and glanced back at Colin with slight surprise at his refusal to keep going, but also with slight annoyance. Was this really going to happen now? Not the way Damian wanted it, not at all! A slight scowl formed on his face as his feelings started to well up. “I’m leaving!” He exclaimed. “Leaving Gotham, and probably never coming back. You wanted to know why I’m not Robin anymore? It’s because my mother came back with a force to try and have me killed, and the only way that she would stop is if I re-join her. Even my father couldn’t see another way out of this, and he just decided it would be best to go with her. He handed me off like I mean’t nothing to him!” he shouted, almost shaking with anger and sadness both. “And this…” his voice cracked . “Is my last night here… with you…” he almost sobbed but he caught himself before turning and running off.

alwaysbeenaboutheroes:

birdoftheapocalypse:

alwaysbeenaboutheroes:

birdoftheapocalypse:

The movie went on, and Damian only caught and paid attention to a few parts here and there, but in general, he really couldn’t tell you what the movie was about exactly. He remained in his seat as the movie ended and people are flooded out of the theater. Why both fighting through that crowd? Once the theater was nearly empty, he stood up and offered his hand out to Colin again. Why was he doing this to himself? It would just be easier to walk away. “Did you like the movie…?” he asked.

He had just put his jacket back on again and glanced up at Damian and offered a slight smile, before taking his hand and pulling himself up and out of his seat. “It was okay. Thought it’d be better though,” Colin replied, but honestly, he really hadn’t focused enough on the movie to be able to get an opinion about it. His thoughts had been centered completely on Damian. “What about you?” He asked, slowly walking out of the theater, his hand still holding onto the other’s.

Damian lead Colin out of the theater and back out onto the sidewalk, where he paused and shrugged his shoulders. “Not my kind of movie.” he replied with simply. It was the truth, but it also hid the fact he wasn’t even paying attention to it. Damian simply started walking down the road, heading towards the orphanage, knowing that Colin was going to say something about the way he was acting… he just knew it.

Damian was right. It took a few minutes, in which Colin gathered his thoughts and silently observed the other, but then he frowned once more and started slowing down until they both came to a stop. “Dami, what’s going on? You’re acting…weird. Is something wrong?”

Damian rolled his eyes when Colin did indeed ask him whats wrong. Feeling himself coming to a stop, he glanced back at Colin and just stared at him for a bit. “I told you I was fine…” he grumbled and let go of Colin’s hand again. “Lets just go already.” he then turned back around and started on without Colin, thinking he would follow after him like usual. Just get to the mansion… have a good night, and then he will tell him. That was his plan… though it was quickly falling apart.

alwaysbeenaboutheroes:

birdoftheapocalypse:

The movie went on, and Damian only caught and paid attention to a few parts here and there, but in general, he really couldn’t tell you what the movie was about exactly. He remained in his seat as the movie ended and people are flooded out of the theater. Why both fighting through that crowd? Once the theater was nearly empty, he stood up and offered his hand out to Colin again. Why was he doing this to himself? It would just be easier to walk away. “Did you like the movie…?” he asked.

He had just put his jacket back on again and glanced up at Damian and offered a slight smile, before taking his hand and pulling himself up and out of his seat. “It was okay. Thought it’d be better though,” Colin replied, but honestly, he really hadn’t focused enough on the movie to be able to get an opinion about it. His thoughts had been centered completely on Damian. “What about you?” He asked, slowly walking out of the theater, his hand still holding onto the other’s.

Damian lead Colin out of the theater and back out onto the sidewalk, where he paused and shrugged his shoulders. “Not my kind of movie.” he replied with simply. It was the truth, but it also hid the fact he wasn’t even paying attention to it. Damian simply started walking down the road, heading towards the orphanage, knowing that Colin was going to say something about the way he was acting… he just knew it.

alwaysbeenaboutheroes:

birdoftheapocalypse:

“Who said anything about hurting them? You save that for when they actually start doing something to you. I told you to leave, not hurt them.”

“But what if they follow and keep talking about stuff like that?” He asked and groaned in confusion, but then looked at Damian, a little confused. “…Doing something to me?”

“Then it becomes stalking and harassment. Which means you can do something to them.” he grinned slightly and nodded. “Colin, you’re smart, figure it out.”
 

alwaysbeenaboutheroes:

birdoftheapocalypse:

“So leave! I know you can take care of yourself.” Damian exclaimed and nodded in a matter of fact way.

“Yeah, but… They’re just talking and I’m not just gonna…do something to them, just for that…”

“Who said anything about hurting them? You save that for when they actually start doing something to you. I told you to leave, not hurt them.”